Somebody Stole My Leg

I woke up this mornin' 'bout a quarter to one
I looked down and saw my leg was gone
I jumped off the bed and fell flat on the floor
Man, I felt rotten - down to the core

Oh baby! I guess I'm gonna need a peg!
Oh ba-hey-by! Somebody stole my leg!

I got to the hospital 'bout a quarter to three
The doctor said, "Man, you're missin' a knee!"
I jumped off the cot and fell flat on my face
Man, let's face it - I was a hopeless case!

Oh baby! I get on my knee and beg!
Oh ba-hey-by! Somebody stole my leg!

Well, nowadays I can't drive my car
But I don't mind 'cause I never go far
People look at me everywhere I go
So if you see a leg lyin' around somewhere, let me know!

Oh baby! I guess I'm gonna need a peg!
Oh ba-hey-by!
Well, I hop to the east and I hop to the west
That was the leg that I liked best
Oh baby! Somebody stole my leg!

Ramble Number Zero

As the sun loves the moon
As Ward Cleaver loves June
As Romeo loves Juliet
And Ozzie Nelson loves Harriet
As Superman loves Lois Lane
And Spiderman loves Mary Jane
As Pyramus loves Thisbe
And every kid loves Disney
I love you