Somebody Stole My Leg

I woke up this mornin' 'bout a quarter to one
I looked down and saw my leg was gone
I jumped off the bed and fell flat on the floor
Man, I felt rotten - down to the core

Oh baby! I guess I'm gonna need a peg!
Oh ba-hey-by! Somebody stole my leg!

I got to the hospital 'bout a quarter to three
The doctor said, "Man, you're missin' a knee!"
I jumped off the cot and fell flat on my face
Man, let's face it - I was a hopeless case!

Oh baby! I get on my knee and beg!
Oh ba-hey-by! Somebody stole my leg!

Well, nowadays I can't drive my car
But I don't mind 'cause I never go far
People look at me everywhere I go
So if you see a leg lyin' around somewhere, let me know!

Oh baby! I guess I'm gonna need a peg!
Oh ba-hey-by!
Well, I hop to the east and I hop to the west
That was the leg that I liked best
Oh baby! Somebody stole my leg!

Ramble Number Zero

As the sun loves the moon
As Ward Cleaver loves June
As Romeo loves Juliet
And Ozzie Nelson loves Harriet
As Superman loves Lois Lane
And Spiderman loves Mary Jane
As Pyramus loves Thisbe
And every kid loves Disney
I love you

Fuhr Rebekah

My love is like a peachtree
In ways I do not know
My love for her a secret I
I cannot show

My love, she is a beauty
The like mere eyes never see
My love, alas my love
She is not for me

In the Station of the CTA

Orange juice pools on the floor at my feet
Dripping from a McDonald's cup
No one stops to clean it up

The Love Song Of Sirhan Sirhan

Pay to the order of this and that

The comely sum of tit for tat

For services rendered where and when

Check post-dated there and then

Total is due upon receipt

To keep our ledger books clean and neat

Enclose with check S.A.S.E.

Do it now A.S.A.P.

O Hippopotamus

O Hippopotamus

Your friends all call you Hippo

O Hippopotamus

Let me borrow your Zippo

'Cause I need a smoke

And I know you got fire

You're a fire-breathin' Hippo

If Ever I Should Lose My Sight

If ever I should lose my sight
I’d ask my last vision to be of you
That I might carry into that dark night
Your golden image glimpsed anew
Your raven hair, your crimson lips
Your alabaster skin
Those pale blue eyes that launched a thousand ships
And mesmerized gods and men
O let me gaze upon you now
That I might yet survey
She who makes Aphrodite bow
And hold the dark at bay